Still Learning

Over the last few months Alzette has learned so much: she can crawl really fast, she has learned to climb (up and down) the stairs, she can stand up on her own, she has composed her own song, she eats all sorts of solid foods, and she loves to say “hello.” It’s been a busy summer. I’ve been away from work for almost 9 months now, and I’m still figuring out exactly how to be a mom, and especially how to be a mom at home. Figuring out sleep schedules, determining my own needs for alone time, meeting Alzette’s needs for outside activity, and the process for me and Scott to identify the values we want to instill in Alzette and define our own philosophies on learning and playing are all an ongoing project. More than anything, I’ve come to realize that I’m still in training when it comes to learning how to stop counting. Although I’ve let go of that sense of time and urgency that pervades work life, in many ways I’ve replaced it with a sense of urgency to clean the house, finish errands, or organize social events. I’ve had to take a big step back before these things started to affect the time and attention I give to Alzette. Having a child teaches you to let go of that sense of control. Cleaning the floor can wait, you can go grocery shopping tomorrow, you might not see all your friends as often, and blog writing is for another time; because more important than any of these things is showing your baby her first butterfly.

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